Note: im not looking for any kind of pity to this nor am i looking for any kind of help
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so im not sure where im going in life anymore
i thought things were finally going well but its seems that that was only a fantasy
every time that i get something good in my life someone has to come along and take it away from me
im sick of it
ive put up with it for around a decade and enough is enough
this doesnt mean that i will start defending myself, all im saying is that ive reach my limit
yes the human punching bag, designed to be a bottomless pit that you can pour your emotions and problems into and something that you can do whatever you want to because it doesnt feel anything, had a limit
apparently its when someone steals from me what i held dearest to me
and that i look back that wasnt even the limit, all that did was give me one so that i would start to fill up until i burst
im losing everyone i hold dear because of the way i act
how i ask for help from people that has nothing to do with whats wrong with me and how i put my problems, emotions and thoughts on others
i was told that that was how people release some of the things that has built up in them
but i guess that that rule doesnt apply to everyone
im not sure what to do anymore and im not sure where im going from here but what i do know is that im lost
this summer will be the scariest one to date
im so afraid that ill lost everyone that i love because i wont you them as often
but i guess all i can do is find some more room in me and stick in there and wait
ill wait for something good to happen thats meant for me and not for someone else that im holding
but i do know that i have very little time left before i snap again
so once i reach that point ill apologize to everyone that i can get a hold of and say goodbye since i dont know what will be on the other side
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note: i know some of you will read this and say there he goes being emo and suicidal again and you know what, yes yes i am
and thats because thats who i am and i cant change that by myself and no one wants to endure it out to see the real me
so sorry i dont live up to your high expectations