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~evilnecro0:iconevilnecro0:

Kiyoshi loves Zikiel  

  • Status: Member
  • Romantic Writer
  • Male/United States
  • Offline for 2h 9m 54s
  • Deviant since Apr 24, 2006, 1:06 PM
  • 30 Deviations
  • 1 Scrap [browse]
  • 151 Deviation Comments
  • 45 Deviant Comments
  • 892 Pageviews

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in Self-Portraits on 4/28/08
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venting

Journal Entry: Mon Mar 31, 2008, 10:51 PM
Note: im not looking for any kind of pity to this nor am i looking for any kind of help
========
so im not sure where im going in life anymore
i thought things were finally going well but its seems that that was only a fantasy
every time that i get something good in my life someone has to come along and take it away from me
im sick of it
ive put up with it for around a decade and enough is enough
this doesnt mean that i will start defending myself, all im saying is that ive reach my limit
yes the human punching bag, designed to be a bottomless pit that you can pour your emotions and problems into and something that you can do whatever you want to because it doesnt feel anything, had a limit
apparently its when someone steals from me what i held dearest to me
and that i look back that wasnt even the limit, all that did was give me one so that i would start to fill up until i burst
im losing everyone i hold dear because of the way i act
how i ask for help from people that has nothing to do with whats wrong with me and how i put my problems, emotions and thoughts on others
i was told that that was how people release some of the things that has built up in them
but i guess that that rule doesnt apply to everyone
im not sure what to do anymore and im not sure where im going from here but what i do know is that im lost
this summer will be the scariest one to date
im so afraid that ill lost everyone that i love because i wont you them as often
but i guess all i can do is find some more room in me and stick in there and wait
ill wait for something good to happen thats meant for me and not for someone else that im holding
but i do know that i have very little time left before i snap again
so once i reach that point ill apologize to everyone that i can get a hold of and say goodbye since i dont know what will be on the other side
====
note: i know some of you will read this and say there he goes being emo and suicidal again and you know what, yes yes i am
and thats because thats who i am and i cant change that by myself and no one wants to endure it out to see the real me
so sorry i dont live up to your high expectations

  • Mood: Miserable
  • Listening to: Last To Know - P!nk
  • Watching: George Lopez

Devious Information

  • Current Age: 18
  • Current Residence: 9412 Continental Drive
  • Interests: death, suicide
  • Favourite movie: Final Fanasty
  • Favourite band or musician: 10 Years, 12012
  • Favourite genre of music: Jrock
  • Favourite artist: Salvador Dali
  • Favourite poet or writer: SorrowMan
  • Favourite photographer: -
  • Favourite style or digital art: -
  • Operating System: -
  • MP3 player of choice: Creative Zen Micro
  • Shell of choice: -
  • Wallpaper of choice: -
  • Skin of choice: -
  • Favourite game: -
  • Favourite gaming platform: -
  • Favourite cartoon character: Amane Misa, Ren and Rai
  • Personal Quote: -
  • Tools of the Trade: -

deviantART Notice

Devious Comments

~evilnecro0:iconevilnecro0: May 3, 2008, 9:35:33 AM
its okay
i enjoyed seeing you too
i did have fun and thanks

--
"In the Buddhist tradition, compassion and love are seen as two aspects of same thing: compassion is the wish for another being to be free from suffering; love is wanting them to have happiness."
-His Holiness the Dalai Lama
~HaloNemesis:iconHaloNemesis: May 2, 2008, 5:36:40 PM
Hey, Ryan! It's Melinda!

I enjoyed seeing you today, even if I was too rushed to really show it. I hope you have fun at Alec's MORP party (I think I picked up that was what was happening).

Much love. :) :heart:

--
"LUIGI! GET TO ZE CHOPPA WITH ZE SCHNITZEL!"-My brother, ~Eldanesh.
~rozodejanero:iconrozodejanero: Jan 12, 2008, 12:34:03 PM Mood: Love
hey! thanks for adding my crazy, sorta cappy drawing to your favs!
You write very nicely too!
Rozo:D

--
87% of Deviants have a random statistic in their signature.
If you're one of the 13% who doesn't then post this in your...oh, wait...
~et149:iconet149: Jan 5, 2008, 5:02:17 AM
Hi! Thanks for the :+fav:! :)
=SelfMadeQueen:iconSelfMadeQueen: Dec 27, 2007, 2:00:05 AM
Thanks for the :+fav:!

--
If you're bored it's 'cause you're boring.
--ArnikA--

Check out my awesome favs and support my friends! [link]
*Shi-Gu:iconShi-Gu: Dec 22, 2007, 8:55:14 AM Mood: Christmas Spirited
Happy Hollydays!

--
浜野 Hamano (seaside field) 拓海 Takumi (open sea)
=Aldii:iconAldii: Dec 21, 2007, 8:55:15 PM
Thanks for the :+fave:!! :love:

--
:boogie::star::heart:I'm an emotes ho so deal with it :heart::star::boogie:

< I RP Mighty Matt at the P.O.T chatroom > 8-):horns:
~yamamocchan-club:iconyamamocchan-club: Dec 21, 2007, 3:10:31 PM
could you do me a favor and remove the fav on Yamamoto by alicia730 [link]
and fav the original? [link]

Thanks for your time :)
*n8iveattitude1:iconn8iveattitude1: Dec 13, 2007, 11:17:43 PM
thanks for the fav! :)

--
"Life's journey in not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to slide in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, screaming "HOLY CRAP what a ride!"
~unknown~


APOSHACK
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~unwantedbrokensoul:iconunwantedbrokensoul: Dec 13, 2007, 9:21:12 AM
thanks for the add
:]

--
I wish I could go to a city that never sleeps...
*VaderRocks2006:iconVaderRocks2006: Dec 12, 2007, 10:21:34 PM
Thanks for the favorite!
~Richdaweirdkid444:iconRichdaweirdkid444: Dec 12, 2007, 8:15:09 PM
thanks for the fav

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artisreisitance
~shifters:iconshifters: Dec 9, 2007, 12:20:12 AM
Thx for the fav :D

--
Resonant thoughts echo through the hallowed chambers of memory.
Caustic to the remnants left in ruin..
=Foxfires:iconFoxfires: Dec 8, 2007, 10:39:02 PM
Thanks so much for the watch! It really means a lot to have your support.

Fair winds! :heart::kitty::heart: - Aimee

--
"Optimism is a revolutionary act..." - Lloyd Dobbler, Say Anything
Best scene ever: [link]
*Funerium:iconFunerium: Dec 8, 2007, 6:51:26 AM Mood: Peaceful
Thanks for the :+fav: & the watch, always appreciated. :ahoy:

--
No bird soars too high, if he soars with his own wings.
~Dantelric:iconDantelric: Dec 2, 2007, 8:31:44 PM
Thank you so much for faving Last Glimpse! :hug:

--
"HAPPY HOGSWATCH. HO. HO. HO."
"Millenium hand and shrimp."
~sinslave09:iconsinslave09: Nov 25, 2007, 5:23:32 PM
thanks a lot for the fav!

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~redramifacation:iconredramifacation: Nov 18, 2007, 6:08:12 PM Mood: Joy
thank you for the fav!!
~smalldeal:iconsmalldeal: Nov 10, 2007, 12:15:25 PM
Thanks for the :+fav:

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ftasame??????????
~blindhunter01:iconblindhunter01: Nov 9, 2007, 8:38:33 PM
Konomi arigato

--
:ninja: :yakuza: :katana: :ninjabattle: :teleport:

Beatus vir qui suffert temptationem
Quia cum probates furerit accipiet coronam vitae

Kyrie, fons bonitatis
Kyrie, Ignis Divine, eleison
~Kanasuki:iconKanasuki: Nov 3, 2007, 11:03:34 PM
Thanks for the :+fav:'s

--
"It's all for show, my dear"

~ Merly ~
~mastasolidsnake:iconmastasolidsnake: Nov 1, 2007, 1:10:51 PM Mood: Horror
thax for the favs

\m/Krius\m/